THE QUESTION IS ARE WE TALKING TOO MUCH AND LISTENING TOO LITTLE?

This is an age-old question certainly, and it has been pondered many times in the last few centuries, believe it or not. Listening is the nicest thing that two people can do for one another, according to Thomas Banville the author of How To Listen—How To Be Heard. This is especially true for a pair who may be married. A good listener, that is one who really listens, hears not only the content of a speaker’s message but also the feeling behind what is being said. Then there are the ones that are poor listeners and we are all guilty of this at some point today. This may be the fault of parental upbringing, incorrect formal education, or birth defects and maybe dozens of other reasons. They all can have an egregious effect on how you receive information.

Professor Banville has studied this subject for a very long time and he says the best listeners are priests and psychiatrists. “We can learn a great deal from them,” he says. Our memories of incidents are also affected by how we listen as well. So many of us are “lazy listeners” that we may remember only a tenth of something, because we only heard that much. Imagine what can happen in a business or an educational situation where you are receiving instructions or lessons. It could be disastrous for you.

When it comes right down to it, it's the responsibility of the listener, and that could be you, to get all you can out of a conversation. Remember, your point of view should not matter until later in the discussion. You only want to absorb and take in the words directed at you. If you do not totally understand, it is up to you to ask for clarification from the speaker or consult your inner empathy. This wonderful how-to book will certainly improve your skills and as we said, maybe save you from a problem or even disaster later. Remember the scene we have seen in military movies where the officer comes in and says….”listen up”. It could apply to you, and you would be wise to take heed.